Rhymes Against the Dark Arts
by MsDelightfullyInsane
Summary: Harry and Hermione are stuck in Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape. So, Hermione decides it is the perfect time to declare her feelings for our favorite brooding professor. Rated M for language. Takes place when Ron is in the hospital.


**Hey! This is my first Harry Potter story, and Hermione might be a little bit OOC. Enjoy! **

Harry POV:

Hermione and I were in the middle of Snape's Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Ron was still…well, poisoned, so she decided to sit near me today. We had to go into groups and try to utter a spell mentally. Since Hermione had obviously gotten the spell right after five minutes, I was taking up the majority of the time trying to get it myself.

"Harry, really, It's not that difficult."

"Says the school's best student." She blushed. But suddenly, her face grew serious.

"Harry, have you returned the 'Prince's' book yet?" She said in a hushed tone.

"What, and disappoint Slughorn? Surely, Hermione, you wouldn't want to break a poor teacher's heart like that?" I said jokingly.

She glared at me.

"Harry, really that book could be dangerous! What if it's like Riddle's diar-"

"Miss Granger!" Snape snapped. Everybody glanced at us.

She turned and rumbled out, "Sorry, Professor," she turned back to me. "Harry, will you just lis-"

"Hermione, relax. There will be no harm done." Snape glanced at us suspiciously, then looked back down at his desk. Hermione started to speak.

"Snape is really starting to rub me the wrong way." Snape stood up from his chair, looking as if he found 1,000 Galleons.

"What did you say, Miss Granger?" Everybody turned to face her.

"I said, 'Professor Snape teaches in the best way', Professor." He looked disbelieving, but gave up on interrogating her.

"Whatever you say, Miss Granger." Snape walked back to his desk. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Really, he's acting like a bit of an idiot." She said, not looking like she cared if he heard.

"What did you say, Miss Granger?"

"I said, 'Really, Harry, you're acting like a bit of an idiot', Professor." I looked at her in shock. There were a few chuckles from everyone else.

"Nice to know you speak the truth, Miss Granger." Snape looked up from his desk to glare at me, and looked back down.

"Hermione!" I whisper-yelled.

"What? It was the only thing I could think of."

I looked at her in exasperation, but let it go. "Where does all of this Snape-hatred come from, Hermione? I thought you were never disrespectful to teachers." I said sarcastically.

"Are you joking? Snape in no way deserves any respect. I wish he could die in a bin." She told me, contempt in her voice.

Is it healthy for her to have this much contempt?

"What did you say, Miss Granger?" Is he eavesdropping on everything we do?

"I said, 'Professor Snape deserves all our respect. I wish I had a man like him." Hermione said, sounding sincere. The girls looked at Hermione with shock and disgust written on their faces.

"Very well, Miss Granger." Hermione looked at me again.

"I mean, you must feel Snape's horrible air around him."

"Miss Granger! What did you say?" Snape asked. Really, is he listening in on this conversation?

"I said, 'Harry, you must see Professor Snape's adorable hairdo on him,' sir." Did…did Snape just blush a little? No, wait, he's still frowning.

Everybody looked at Hermione like she was insane.

"Although this is true, Miss Granger, this is not the time for your wild fantasies. Get back to work." I can't believe Snape isn't seeing through this! Hermione just looks nonchalant.

Is it me, or is Hermione really good at rhyming?

"And, my God, it's tragic someone can end up as thick as him." Hermione looks like she saying this from the heart. And all I could think is one thing.

Wasn't I supposed to be working on my mental spell?

"Excuse me, Miss Granger?" Doesn't he have some teaching thing to do?

"I said, 'It's magic how someone can end up as quick as Professor Snape', sir."

"Well, stop opening your mouth and keep working. Potter needs as much help as he can get." I was a bit aggravated now.

Hermione, for the umpteenth time, rolled her eyes.

"He's so pathetic."

"Miss Granger, I believe I told you to stop talking." Isn't there paperwork or something he has to finish?

"I only said, 'It must be genetic,' Professor."

This is getting ridiculous.

Snape just dismissed her with a look.

"Hermione, you're gonna get in trouble." Wow, I never thought I would have to say that in a sentence.

"Oh, whatever, Snape can just kiss my behind."

"Miss Granger, you have been constantly interrupting my lesson. What is it do you have to say?"

"I said, 'Harry, you're mentally behind,' Professor." I was seething as everyone started to laugh.

"Miss Granger, if that statement wasn't so truthful I would give you detention. Now get back to work." Everyone just laughed harder.

"I swear if Snape bothers me one more time, I'll turned his despicable head into a fucking cockroach's!"

Whoa, I think Hermione has been holding this in for a _long_ time.

"Excuse me, Miss Grang-"

"I said, 'I swear if Snape bothers me one more time, I'll turned his despicable head into a fucking cockroach's!' Professor!" Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth once she realized what she said. Everybody gasped.

"Dammit, the one bloody time I mess up…" She grumbled so low that only I could hear.

"Well, Miss Granger, I think you've earned yourself a mon-"

"-A month's detention, 6:00 every night, don't be late, words, words…" Hermione said resignedly, cutting Snape off.

Class was later dismissed.

While we were in the Gryffindor Common Room, Hermione marched toward the window.

"Severus Snape is the world's biggest prat!" Hermione said out the window, but I don't think anyone heard her. The portrait of the Fat Lady swung open, and Neville walked in with a note in hand.

"Hey, Hermione, Snape told me to give you this." He handed her the note and plopped down in a chair. I leaned over Hermione's shoulder to read the note:

_75 points from Gryffindor._

"ARGH!"

**Well, you can't win all the time, can you?**


End file.
